Why We Must Forgive Ourselves

 

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and
discover the prisoner was you

Healing

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a bad temper. She screamed at and scolded everyone around her. For most of her life she believed the fiery rage inside her was everyone else’s fault. But one morning,  she woke up and realized she had isolated herself from all the people in her life who she cared about. She had no friends, and even her family wanted nothing to do with her. She knew in that moment that she needed to make a change.

She went to see a well respected Guruji to ask for advice. The Guru told her to take a large lay jug from his kitchen, fill it with water, and stay outside on the sidewalk in front of his house.

He said: “It’s hot outside, and that’s a busy sidewalk with lots of pedestrians”. Guruji told her as he pointed out the front window of his house.

When a pedestrian passes by, you must offer them a glass of water. And continue doing this until there is no rage left inside you.

The woman with the bad temper was confused – she did not understand how this would help her. But she had heard that this Guru was known for this unconventional wisdom and avantgarde methods of healing, and she was willing to do anything to heal herself and rebuild her relationships with those she cared about.

Rage 

So,  she stood outside with a water jug and served water to pedestrians every day for the next several weeks. And every morning she asked herself if rage still pulsed through her veins. And every morning the answer was “Yes!” So. she continued serving water. Suddenly that afternoon a big and husky man walked by, snatched the water jug out of her hand, drank out of it, and then tossed the jug on the ground as he continued on his way.

The rage within this woman skyrocketed into an irresponsible fit. Unable to contain herself, she picked-up the clay jug from the ground and, with all her might, threw it at the husky man as he walked away. It was a direct hit. The jug shattered into pieces over the back of his head and he fell to the ground. Unconscious and bleeding.

As the woman’s rage subsided, she realized the magnitude of what she had done and began to cry. She used a payphone to call 911 and report the incident. An ambulance and two police cars arrived at the scene moments later. As the ENT’s strapped this husky man into a stretcher, then one of the police offices walked over to the woman who was still crying, and said, “The city owes you a big ‘Thank You!’. That man has been our most wanted man on the list for over a year now. He is a primary suspect in multiple murder cases and violent robberies?”

The Moral 

The moral of the story is that we simply don’t know, what we want to believe that if we completely rid ourselves of our inner darkness then we will always make the right choices, and be of service to ourselves and those around us. But life isn’t so linear or predictable.

Sometimes our darkness inadvertently leads us to do things that impact the world in a positive way, just as our unconditional love sometimes forces us to overlook the criminal standing before us.

I am writing this story, not to encourage you to let your anger get the best of you, but rather to provide you with an opening to forgive yourself for your own humanity. Because, even in our darkest moments, there is a light that shines within us that has potential to be of service to ourselves and others in ways we may never fully comprehend.

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